McCormick Family Commandments for Sundays

1. Thou shall not rise too late to prepare for the 1:00 games.

It takes a long time for five people to shower, get dressed, and eat breakfast. All of these activities much be accomplished by kick-off. It does not matter if your water or your toast is cold. Get it done. Game time is upon us.

2. Thou shall not wear civilian clothes.

What team are you supporting anyway?  Do your laundry on time.  Get that jersey on. If you must, a tshirt with proper logos is acceptable.  But you must be committed. Your team needs you. Show your support.

3. Thou shall not pass in front of the tv during a play.

They last six seconds on average and will be followed for several minutes by Matthew McConaughey Lincoln commercials, so you can wait to get your beverage. Nothing in the kitchen is worth missing the results of this 3-and-5.

4. Thou shall not move the pig.

The pig sits at a place of honor beneath the television and faces the direction the Redskins are advancing down field. He is an important part of their game strategy and tampering with him can bring sadness to thousands. Please, hands off the pig.

5. Thou shall not give up defeat before defeat is certain.

The game isn't over til the clock ticks down.  Your job as a fan is not to proclaim defeat the slightest setback.  You are to find the one way in which victory can be obtained.  There is no place for pessimism.

6. Thou shall not wash your jersey for the duration of a winning streak.

It must remain washed with the sweat of victory.  But upon a loss, the stains of disgrace must be removed with April Fresh Tide.  Don't dry it, though. You'll mess up the numbers.

7. Thou shall not switch teams.

This is the ultimate blasphemy, punishable by removal of NFL Sunday Ticket subscription.  You have one loyalty. Choose wisely.

8. Thou shall not speak of the team as 'we.'

You are not employed by the organization or on the field or drinking by yourself at the Hooters bar. Refer to the team in third person pronouns only.

9. Thou shall not flip channels during the fourth quarter.

No amount of commercial avoidance makes this sin pardonable.

10. Thou shall not spoil the game for those that must DVR.

It is tempting to send the text. Refrain. Nothing removes joy from the game than prematurely knowing the outcome.